On February 11, 2010, a noble patriarch died under ignoble circumstances. On September seventh, he was taken to the trauma center after a fall down a flight of stairs. The medical staff saved his life, stabilized his condition, and then, they killed him. The fall probably should have killed him, and that immediate death would have been more merciful in the long run. Instead, he remained a captive in a poorly funded, poorly staffed and poorly managed facility. His children tried to transfer him, but the institution prevented them from succeeding.
One moment, the doctors claimed he was almost ready for release; the next, he was returned to ICU because of an infection, or a breathing crisis, or a drop in his blood sugar that rendered him comatose. Just as it appeared that the transfer might become a reality, he developed sepsis and his kidneys failed. The hospital hooked him up to life support and told his sons that he could survive that way for weeks. His extremities swelled and turned black, as did his face. They bandaged his eyes because he could not close them. Blood dribbled from one of his ears. The hospital required a court order to turn off life support, but God intervened and ended the cruelty.
My daughter-in-law asked me to write our farewell. We loved you so much more than this. We suffer not only because we have lost you but because of the senseless way in which it happened. You must surely be in a better place, for you cannot be in a worse one. Find comfort and joy from those who preceded you and know that those you left behind will remember you as you should be remembered with love and honor.
I stayed at the hospital while you were dying, but I didn't go to your funeral. I don't think people should leave this world alone, but I just couldn't bring myself to celebrate your life when you caused so much havoc.
Why were you such an evil man? Why did you molest your children? Why did you do such horrible things? It's because of you that so many of your children are mentally and emotionally fucked up. It's because of you that I don't have the mother I should. I hate you for taking away my mother and her siblings' innocence.
I'm pretty sure you're burning in hell right now.
I tried to come to your funeral, but instead ended up at someone else's funeral by accident. It wasn't until I got to the casket that I noticed it wasn't you. Sitting through someone else's funeral when I was supposed to be saying Goodbye to you, was hard.
It's been 10 years since you died. Why did you kill yourself? Life outside of high school is so very different from the teenage hell we each go through. All you had to do was hang on, just a few more years. It's too late, though. It's because of your death and me living through and surviving teenage years that I wish I could reach out to high schoolers to tell them that it's all going to be okay.
I wish you would have reached out to someone.
Eight years. Why does it surprise me when you are still dead after all this time? I see iPhones, and BluRay, and Flip videocameras – you missed them all and that is just … wrong. I mean, you loved tech stuff and even after you died people kept inventing and thinking and you never even dreamt of my iTouch.
I told my friend that today is the day hope left, you won’t die for another two days but today is the day that you started to fade from me. A bad decision on the thinking end of a scalpel and away you drifted.
Everybody is ok, your namesake is awesome and he is great with my son. I know this space if for things left unsaid, but when you were alive we said it all. This space isn’t big enough for the things I haven’t been able to tell you in the last 8 years, or maybe it is.
I love you. I miss you. All ways, always.
Today was remembering my recollections of your best day of parenting and the worst.
Mom quietly gathered me and listened to my sins... Made me feel loved and understood.
Dad came home and beat the crap out of me.
i would have said thank you at the end of our class time together. but, you had already been admitted into the hospital.
thank you for teaching with such conviction.
thank you for not preaching your thoughts to us, but rather, letting us be responsible for our own learning, and harvesting our own ideas.
thank you for reminding me that i am a person filled with God. that i do have a spiritual path. that is the most important thing i took for your teaching us and i don't think i could have done it without your patience and understanding.
you will be missed. however, as one of your fellow professors said, and it seems true, you were called home. i can only console myself with this knowledge, that, and i am lucky to have had you as a person of guidance for as little time as i did.
...I just miss you so much. I'm sorry for what I said before you passed.. I didn't know you were leaving.. I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with you. I was so wrapped up in my own world that I didn't notice you were lonely. I was more concerned with myself and keeping ME from becoming lonely or bored that I never noticed the time slipping by us. You were gone too soon.. I hope you know that I do love you... I still can't believe you're gone..
I miss you so much girl. You were the toughest, loyal, sweetest, loving dog I could ever ask for. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from my mother's abuse. I was just a scared kid. I hope you know that I love you so much. It's terrible you had to suffered the same physical and emotional abuse as I did. When I looked in your eyes there were so much sadness I couldn't make go away. I wish I was brave enough to stand up to her. You've had such a hard and short life. I'm so sorry I couldn't make her stop. I never stopped thinking about you throughout the years... I hope you're in a better place now. There's no other dog in this world like you. I still remember laying on the floor after she beat me down, I was bruised and I couldn't stop crying.. you came up to me and put your head on my lap. I'll never forget that moment. Maybe one day we'll see each other again girl, I'll always love you Bully.
Words cannot express the way I feel for you. seeing you in that hospital I did not know it would be the last time I ever saw you. We only know the reason I was not able to scream out your name or run over and touch you. You were my friend, my lover and so much more. It's crazy that i'm not able to talk to any one about us that's hurts the most. you were the shoulder i cried on. The one person i could be with and nothing else mattered. The place to get away from all the crazy world. Gave me advise whenever i needed it. Most of all you were a giving person, I know that God has you know and i need to find away to let go. You have always been in my heart. I love you and miss you.
your friend
